Monday, April 12, 2010

Aidan Hates Me

UPDATE: Thanks anonymous for the comment. Holy smokes those kids were eating terribly!!! It was NEVER and will NEVER be that bad around here!


Not really but it feels like it.

I'm not a perfect mom and I make mistakes. Most of them include letting my child do whatever he wants because I am so in love with him and couldn't bare to see him upset. Well, that has come back to bite me in the you know what.

Issue #1: He doesn't want to eat meals, he wants to snack all the time. So, this is what I've come up with (and I am more than open for advice here). He only gets two snacks a day. One between breakfast and lunch and one between lunch and dinner. If he does not eat his dinner, which happens a lot because he thinks he can just ask for a snack when he gets hungry, he can't have food after that. In the past, I was feeling guilty that he might be hungry if he didn't eat. I am hoping he gets that he needs to eat his dinner when it is time so I won't feel like he is starving.

Issue #2: Toys in his bed. Every night, Aidan asks to take a toy to bed with him. I didn't really see the harm in this until recently, he asked for his fire truck to sleep with him and he played with it in bed for an hour (it makes noise that's how I know) after we put him down. Not good. Needless to say, he is VERY upset with me because now, all of his toys go in the toy box before bed every night.

Issue #3: Treats. (No, not the ones you give your dog.) As an entire family (g'pants and uncles etc) I think we got a little excited about Aidan getting to try the really good (usually unhealthy) things in life. Once in a while he would get a cup of chocolate milk or as a treat I would buy a small bag of M&M's and put 10 in a Ziploc for him to eat. We also made the mistake of rewarding him with things like ice cream. For instance when he broke his arm, we took him for ice cream but I've realized that it was making us feel better more than him. Now he wants these things all the time. I have had to stop buying chocolate syrup for chocolate milk and he has had many a break down in Harris Teeter when we pass the M&M's but I just can't have him expecting to get that junk all the time so I had to stop it all together. The ice cream thing is a little difficult especially with it being summer but in the mean time I have bought sugar free popsicle's and he is loving them! We are trying to reward him by getting really excited about things with him and telling him how great of a big boy he is turning in to.

I want him to be a healthy, happy, smart and respectful little boy and I know he doesn't understand right now why it seems I am taking all the fun stuff away but I am hoping him it will all be worth it in the end. I get frustrated with myself when he is balling his eyes out and asking for chocolate milk because I am the one who started this whole mess.

Another small part of the issue(s) is that Adam has a really hard time with discipline. He didn't have a great relationship with his dad growing up and he is under the impression that if once in a while he has to be the bad guy, he is going to ruin his chances of he and Aidan being close. He just wants to do anything and everything to make Aidan happy and to give him everything he never had. While his intentions are good, I think down the road he may find himself being taking advantage of. So we need to work on that a little bit. I keep trying to reassure him that if he lays down the law a little bit, Aidan will probably respect him more in the end and their relationship will be stronger.

We will have to see how it goes. Being a parent is such a HUGE learning experience and I really am trying my best. I'm sure there are moms out there that have it all together and do nothing wrong but that's just not me.

My mom took Aidan to the Dr for me a couple of weeks ago and our pediatrician said to my mom "You must be so proud of your daughter, she is doing a magnificent job with him". So, I must be doing something right!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/kids-snacking-children-eating-food-meals/story?id=10074638

Kate G. said...

I saw that GMA segment! Surprising, huh?

Just wanted to send some encouragement your way! I'm not a parent, but I'm a child and I DEFINITELY appreciate the rules and discipline I "underwent" as a kid. I didn't love it then, but I see now what a huge difference it has made in how I turned out. I think disciplining your child is an act of love! Keep at it, girl.

The Utseys said...

Ape you are doing a beautiful and amazing job with Aidan. I drank a glass of chocolate milk everyday when I was little and I still enjoy a glass almost everyday now. It's all about moderation. You can't restrict all the junk food out there b/c those kids end up bingeing as soon as they are out of the house. Keep up the good work and don't take "anonymous" personally. You shouldn't comment on something if you're not brave enough to put your name on it!