Thursday, June 11, 2009
I think it is fair to say that I am becoming obsessed with having another baby. It's pretty much all I think about. Adam and I have set a tentative month to start trying and it just seems forever away. I think what is making the obsession worse is the fact that I am terrified that because it was so easy for me to get pregnant the first time, that it won't happen that way again. I have read so many infertility stories and I hear so much about women miscarrying and loosing children in their early life that I am petrified this time around. The last time I was pregnant I was in way too much shock to worry about these things but I think they are every woman's fear when it comes time to try to have a baby. It may all be silly in the end, but it's a real fear and anything can happen. I am back to DVRing "A Baby Story", "Bringing Home Baby" and all other TLC baby shows. I am constantly on the Baby Center website. I get super emotional (and jealous really) when I hear about someone being pregnant or who has just had a baby. I know my time is coming and I just have to have patience and faith that everything will go well. In the meantime I am so grateful for my loving, smart, handsome Aidan. He is everything to me and more. I love him more than words. He will always be the one that made me a mommy.