Thursday, November 19, 2009

Life's Hard

Things are not going so great around the Harvey household. I know it's annoying to complain about it but honestly, sometimes instead of venting to someone, I just want to write to vent.

Adam is jobless AGAIN. The economy is effecting us once AGAIN. I am having anxiety once AGAIN about how we are going to make it until he finds something else. My hours at work just aren't cutting it. I am probably going to have to go back to work full time. I don't mind helping out at all, it's just really frustrating to be married to someone with the best work ethic on the planet and him not be able to make it through every lay off on the planet during this rough time in the economy. Let go of someone that takes personal days or goes on vacation...because my husband doesn't do that. He's entirely too worried about taking care of us.

I want to be pregnant. Have I mentioned that? If I have, there it is again. It feels good to get it out. I am trying to be happy for EVERYONE around me that are having babies but I am finding it hard to keep jealousy out of my heart. When will it be my turn again???

I was talking to Adam a few days ago about how God has his plan and how he always knows what's going to happen before it does. It is really getting harder and harder to sit back and wait to see what he is doing with our life as a family. I don't know if we are doing something wrong. Are there going to be happier days ahead? We want a better life so bad. I don't want to come across as someone who is unappreciative for what we have because that is not it at all. We just want more for ourselves, for Aidan.

Thanksgiving is coming up and Adam's family will be here for the Holiday. I have been so excited about them coming and I still am, I just don't feel like getting out of bed most mornings. I have so much to do before Friday. I had big plans to get my holiday decorating done and even prep some meals for while they were here but I don't know if I can't put my stress and anxiety on the back burner long enough to get it all done.

I really, really, really hope things are going to get better soon. We are struggling in the worst of ways. I can say, thankfully, through everything we do still have eachother.

1 comment:

Kate G. said...

Hey April-- I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. Go read Jeremiah 29:11 (or google it!).

This will pass; it always does... Know that I'm sad for your sadness though. Thinking of and praying for you guys.