Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Valentine's Day Expectations

I know, I know. That dreadful Hallmark holiday.  I can't help it. I love it.  Maybe it's all the red.  Maybe it's the roses that always show up on our doorstep with a little love note from my husband, maybe it's all the fun I have making Valentines with Aidan.  Whatever it is, I try to be one of those that doesn't really care, but I do. 

Yesterday was such a good start to the day.  Adam and I woke up around 5am.  I whispered "Happy Valentine's Day" in his direction and he scooted a little bit closer to me in our bed and we fell back asleep until it was time to get up for the day. 

I could hear Aidan's feet hit the floor and before I knew it he was snuggled up with us.  Again..."Happy Valentine's Day bud."  "Today Mommy? It's Valentine's Day TODAY?"  He carefully packed all of his Valentine's in his book bag while I stuffed his lunch box and gulped down a glass of orange juice in hopes I would start to feel in the realm of AWAKE soon. 

I walked Aidan in to his class and the kids were already going crazy handing out their little heart shaped treats. I stood there for a few minutes while Aidan carefully handed out his Valentine's and looked back at me each time he said "My Mommy helped me make these for you."  He kissed me goodbye and I made a mental to do list for my time while he was away.

I stopped and shopped for a card for Adam.  I was smiling reading each one as it made me think about my husband and how lucky I felt that any of the pieced together cheesy poems would suit us well because we just have that kind of love.  I chose the biggest box of chocolate, knowing I would want to eat some myself. 

I picked up Aidan from school and gave him his Valentine from us.  A Spiderman card and a heart full of Skittles.  We sat on the sofa at home and read aloud all the Valentine's from his friends and for the first time in his life, let him eat every last lollipop in that bag.  He had just finished giving me a sticky smooch when Adam walked through the door with a bouquet of roses, the sweetest card, MORE chocolate and balloons.

He was off to job number two minutes later and promised to be home early so we could catch a movie onDemand and spend some "quality time" together. My parents invited Aidan and I over for pizza so before we left to meet them, I jumped in the shower and shaved my legs and washed my hair.  A huge accomplishment for a Mom in minutes time.

The pizza and company was great but I noticed it was getting late so I kissed my parents and rushed home.  I wanted Aidan to be in bed and asleep before Adam came home.  I read him a book or two and we did some flash cards before he passed out.  I jumped up, ran to the bathroom and blew my hair dry and threw in some Velcro curlers. 

By the time Adam walked through the door around 9:30, I was sitting on the sofa, busting out my Valentine's Day blog post, looking pretty good if I do say so myself.  He said he was going to take a quick shower and for me to think about what movie I was in the mood to watch.  When he was finished, he joined me on the sofa.  "I will be done with this in 2 minutes." I said.  2 minutes passed, I closed the computer and looked over to find my husband DEAD ASLEEP next to me on the sofa.  Seriously?  I shaved my legs FOR THIS? 

Once he was out, he was out.  I barely motivated him to at least move to our bed.  I was so mad I was in tears.  Then I was tears because he was asleep and wasn't paying me any attention. Then I was in tears because I was in tears.  I was mad at myself for dreaming up the way the night was going to go and then utterly devastated when it went the total opposite direction.  Adam never woke up and I spent the night piecing back together one of Aidan's Lego monstrosities that I had accidentally destroyed while transferring it to the dining room table earlier in the day.  Some way to end our Valentine's Day.

So you know, life isn't perfect and things don't always go as planned.  I've been telling myself a lot lately that I need to cool it with the expectations because I end up being disappointed and I have no one to be mad at but myself.  I especially need to work on it when it comes to Adam.  He gets up every morning and works 15 hour days and I really shouldn't blame him if he comes home and just wants to sleep. 

Hopefully, I can learn to expect less and be surprised more.

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